My C9…the night before…

So I’ve woken up and it’s 1am. A small person woke me up which I don’t mind but the zombie like sounds my husband is making are I intolerable so I’m on the top bunk. 

I have dreamt about food. Is this a grieving process? The long goodbye? I just want a Krispy Kreme peanut butter donut and my belly is growling in protest. 

As I went into the bathroom to assist the smallest one I caught a glimpses of myself with my 35 inch tummy looking unsightly. 3 children and 2 extra stone later finds me repulsed at not only how I look semi naked but horrified with myself for allowing myself to gain so much weight on my frame and my inability to eat properly. 

I guess it’s not the loss of the yummy but unhealthy food that I’m grieving for but maybe the loss of my youth, amazing metabolism and old self. Where have I gone? Where’s this potbellied stranger come from? Since when did I morph into one of those women who don’t look after themselves? 

C9 here I come. Let’s find her, let’s get her back. 

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